


Learning to Let Go

by JediDiplomat



Category: Actor RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Blind Character, Disability, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-04
Updated: 2011-10-04
Packaged: 2017-10-24 07:26:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediDiplomat/pseuds/JediDiplomat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting back on the horse is harder than Jensen expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning to Let Go

"Fuck!" Jensen yelled and threw the braille reader across the room. He got up quickly only to push the chair in his way. He tripped over something and he was going to tell Jeff to stop fucking leaving his clothes on the fucking floor when a pair of hands grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him back down in his chair.

"Calm down," Jeff's voice rumbled in his ear. "What's the problem?"

Jensen wanted to yell at him, tell him that he was the fucking problem, but that wasn't exactly true. Still, he didn't appreciate being treated as a four year old and growled as much to Jeff.

"Then stop throwing temper tantrums that put two year olds to shame." He replied unrepentant. "You gonna tell me what's wrong or you gonna sit there and fume?"

Jensen was tempted to tell his lover he was gonna fume but that wouldn't help the situation and Jensen wasn't stupid enough or blind enough to realize that Jeff didn't have to stick around. Fuck half of his friends hadn't, so the fact that his lover still wanted him was even more of a reason to not consciously be a dick to him.

"Angie sent me a contact she wants me to look at."

"OK," Jeff replied.

Jensen could hear the hesitation in his voice and it further pissed Jensen off. "What?!" Jensen demanded.

"Nothing, just thought you were taking a break," Jeff replied in that calm voice of his.

Jensen took a breath and let it out. He's been taking out too much of his frustration with the world on Jeff; it wasn't fair and even he knew it. "It's voice work," he said quietly, not ready to admit this, that his acting career was probably all but over, that there was no easy way for him to land his marks, to know what his costar was expressing on their face because he'd never again see it. That reasonable accommodations were something that the network could easily get around if they wanted to and so far the CW hadn't said they were willing to wait.

The fact that he could all but see the look on Jeff's face; the look that signaled he thought Jensen was making a monumentally huge mistake but he wasn't sure it wasn't a mistake that Jensen himself needed to make, not withstanding. That just meant he'd been with Jeff long enough to know Jeff. Jeff wasn't some twinky tween that couldn't act themselves out of a paper bag and would expect Jensen to carry the show.

Still, Jeff didn't say a word and Jensen found himself profoundly grateful. "I can't read the contract. The stupid JAWS program doesn't make any sense and the braille reader the agency sent over makes everything seem like its in Chinese. If I can't read a fucking contact... Jeff, I have to work, I'm going fucking stir crazy here. I can't just sit around the house and live off your money." He was begging and he knew it. The elephant in the room hadn't missed him, but he also knew he'd go fucking crazy.

“OK, do you want me to read the relevant parts or the whole thing?" Jeff asked rubbing Jensen's shoulders.

Jensen let out a breath, "Jennifer drilled it into my head to read the whole thing, even if i don't understand half of it. Just in case."

Jeff squeezed Jensen's shoulders, and then gently moved him a bit to the right so he could better see the screen, or at least Jensen assumed that. It was born out when Jeff's voice started, rumbling low in Jensen's ear about codicils and fuck all. Jensen tried to pay attention, but he'd never been an aural learner, just another thing he was going to have to adapt.

“Jeff?” Fuck, this was going to kill his ego, he just knew he was going to be fucking nightmare to deal with because of it, but he had to suck it up. “Jeff, wait, I can't... the words are all jumbling together.”

Jeff stopped talking but didn't stop rubbing Jensen's shoulders. “You know...” he started and then stopped and Jensen really wished, not for the first time, that he could still see because then he'd know if that was a hesitation because Jeff wasn't sure how Jensen was going to take something or if he was about to be punked or something else entirely different. “Everyone needs help.”

OK, that was definitely one of those stops to rephrase because Jeff thought he was gonna be pissed. Which, considering his general mood since the accident, he couldn't blame him. “Yeah, but most people aren't fucking invalids.”

“Funny,” Jeff rumbled, and he stopped rubbing Jensen shoulders, “don't remember you being sick or incapable.”

“I can't fucking **read** ,” Jensen growled.

“So learn,” Jeff snapped back, “Christ, Jensen. You had a major life altering event. You're allowed not to be one hundred percent. Fuck boy, I was just going to point out that you might just want to trust your fucking lawyer on the contracts.”

Jensen took a breath, “Not sure I trust him that far.” Jensen wasn't going to get into the problems he'd had when he first hit Hollywood or how long it took him to get out from under his representation.

“So get one you do trust,” Jeff growled. “No one said you had to be married to the guy. Hell, hire several. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to find one that knows ADA laws either. To make sure when the networks try to fuck you over, they don't just bend you over and let you take it raw.”

Jensen mulled it over, he didn't know a damn thing about lawyers, but Kane did. After all, his sister was a lawyer. She'd helped him when it was clear he was working for his representation and not the other way around. She'd called him a shit for brains actor, but so had Kane. More than once. Unfortunately, this would take time, time he didn't have. He took a breath and made himself ask for another favor.

“What's your lawyer like? Do you trust him?” Jensen asked, turning a bit to where he knew Jeff was standing over his shoulder.

“Yeah. Never fucked me over yet, even when he really should have.” There was another pause and then a huff of a laugh. “Are you asking if you can borrow my lawyer?”

Jensen nodded, “yeah, OK. This one time, until I can figure this out.” He felt Jeff press a kiss to his temple and he heard Jeff clicking on the keyboard, another huff of a laugh and the JAWS program going ape-shit. “You can turn that off.”

“Could, but you're never going to learn to deal with it if I do, and it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it bugs the shit out of you.”


End file.
